


every version of me dead and buried

by Kangoo



Series: Front toward enemy [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Basically gen, Canonical Character Death, Destiny 2: Forsaken DLC, M/M, oc has sad feelings about death, oc is not aware he's in love, should i start tagging razel directly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 04:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18308087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kangoo/pseuds/Kangoo
Summary: Razel dreams of death





	every version of me dead and buried

**Author's Note:**

> title from hozier's Jackie and Wilson
> 
> i'm having feelingd about forsaken again!

Razel dreams of death.

His own, often, seeing as it’s somewhat of a reoccurring occurrence in his life. His enemies’, sometimes, mostly in nightmares where they fail to die the way they’re supposed to. Cayde’s, mostly.

He can feel it, even now, years after the fact – the pulse of Light at his ghost’s death, coursing through his nerves like a lightning strike. The echo of a shot in the haunted corridors of the prison. The flicker of his eyes and the static in his voice.

Uldren’s smirk, his finger resting on the trigger of the Ace of Spade.

The gun rests in Razel’s holster now, heavy and familiar, and it’s as if the memories of this one death cling to the barrel. Words burned in his mind, his arms straining under the phantom weight of a body, an unspeakable ache between his ribs.

Razel dreams of death with his eyes wide open.

He feels it hot at his heels, stalking him like a dog on the hunt. A flash of light reflecting off a gun and the fleeting idea of letting the bullet hit true. A glimpse of familiar blue in the wide open sky beneath him, the yawning emptiness catching on his bones like fish hooks and tugging him forward. A shot ringing, too much the same, and the thought of turning him against his own Ghost, just to see if the shockwave would be the same. If it would knock loose the thing weighing him down like that. This lump of quiet misery lodged in his chest, like a smoldering coal.

“Are you alright, guardian?”

He brushes if off, shrugs, smiles under his helmet. “Yeah, I’m fine. Lucky you got my back.”

Cubix bobs up and down happily. “I’m only doing my job! But I’d still like it if you made it a little easier. Like by not jumping in the middle of the fray? Just a thought?”

Danger makes him feel alive when he remembers he can die, maybe for good this time–

(On the days he remembers he did die, for good, with a single bullet and lightning in his veins and two words. _Cayde’s gone._ )

“Not a chance,” he says. He holsters his gun, thumb rubbing the spade on its side, and straddles his bike. “C'mon, buddy. Show me the way. Front toward enemy.”

Razel dreams of death. It’s easier than imagining the life he still has to go through before he sees Cayde again.


End file.
